you+me and the army


SNOW
October 28, 2009, 9:51 PM
Filed under: Uncategorized

It has been raining all day long which is really nice. Although it is super cold and it only got colder! Then all of the sudden the rain looked funny tonight.. it was snow! The wind kicked up too so it was all over the place. It melted once it hit the ground but I enjoyed every moment of it.

PA290334

Photo 96Snow on my hands

Photo 104

Did I mention it has been cold!? The central heater for the apartments hasn’t been turned on. But the cold came a little earlier than day light savings so we’re hoping they can turn it on by then. Until then we have been dressing in layers, gloves, beanies, and blankets everywhere. But it’s okay, bring on the holidays!

FYI for those who don’t know already- we got Ty’s orders and we are moving to Fort Bragg NC in January. 63 days and counting down! We are so ready to leave!



Feeling Better?
October 6, 2009, 3:12 AM
Filed under: Uncategorized

frustrated

I broke down tonight. The day was going fine.. having its ups (getting an interview this week)  and downs (breaking vacuum and homesick) to pretty much having an average night. I was talking with friends and it made me miss pasadena so much. I even looked up plane flights for a quicky weekend just for the kick of it. Then here I am laying down and I feel like I weigh a ton. I get up look in the mirror and lose it. I lost 15 pounds last month and was very proud of myself. Then I realized that I’m gaining some back. Those pounds may be considered nothing but I look at it in a different way.

I am into my 9th month of being sick.. but 2 months of recovery. I am happy to say that my liver is back to normal (according to numbers) and I that I have the energy to get through my day. August was a better month for me than September, though. Everything is going completely bonkers! I am so sick of being sick! I am so tired of not feeling comfortable or confident in myself. Or even sexy!  I am living with it and dealing with it and usually I handle this just fine. But lately, I’ve been getting a whiplash from  the past few weeks.

It still baffles me that all I wanted was to not be a mom at 18 years of age, and I ended up damaging my body. It’s not abortion, it’s birth control. All of this makes you open up  your eyes and see what God has created and how this body is meant to function. Not to mention the purpose of being female. I have a fear that my pain will always be with me… somehow. But it’s just a fear. I’m not claiming that it’s my future. Healing takes time (sometimes too long). A few have been surprised that I’m not “better” when they ask how I’m feeling today. I once said that I am in the waiting game- I still stand by that. I broke down because  I don’t know what to do. Waiting sucks.

Isaiah 41: 13

“For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you,

“Fear not, I am the one who helps you.”

Isaiah 40:28-31

“Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary, his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.”